Dating someone who a narcissist abused. the first thing I want to tell you is it’s not going to be an easy task. this thing might be scaring you off but this is the truth any relationship with an abused person can’t be the same as a normal relationship as you experienced before. the person abused by the narcissist can have different psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, low self-esteem insecurity trust issue. but here is some good news. with patience and some strategies, the relationship can be manageable patience and a non-giving-up attitude play an important role in this journey, and with some effort, you can have a beautiful relationship with your partner. following are some strategies you can use to manage the relationship with the person who got abused by a narcissist.
Dating Someone Who Was Abused By A Narcissist: Top 10 Proven Technics To Remember
1. Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse and its effects.
A narcissistic personality means someone who thinks they are really special, wants people to admire them a lot and doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. It can make it hard for them to have good relationships with others.
some of the other characteristics of the narcissistic person are constant controlling of a partner, manipulating with different methods, dominating any situation, and constant criticization are some behavior patterns of the narcissistic person.
so finding out which situation your partner has gone throw in a previous abusive relationship is the starting thing that you have to do.
2. Create a safe and supportive environment for your partner.
Your partner may have gone through a difficult time in their previous relationship. Managing with you and with your friends might be difficult. even a simple comment or gesture can be considered threatening to them which is completely normal.
forcing them which they don’t like in certain situations such as simply hanging out with friends and family for an outing, or simply going out for a movie could be considered as controlling.
giving them some space and a safe environment and comfort to choose the things according to their choice is a good idea at the beginning to gain their trust. with some practice understanding and lots of patience, you can surely able to make some space in their heart.
3. Encourage your partner to seek therapy or counseling from a professional.
Dealing with the person abused by a narcissist is surely challenging work understanding their inside and figuring out what is happening in their mind is quite difficult. trying different things without proper skill and knowledge can be wasting of time.
at a certain point having a feeling of giving up on the partner abused by a narcissist is quite common. but instead of all these things seeking a professional therapist and a psychologist for help is a good idea.
a professional therapist with experience in handling such kinds of issues fastens the process of recovery. this will not only saves you time but also stops you from hurting your partner because of the lack of knowledge and patience which might happen.
4. Be patient and show understanding during their healing process.
While the healing process there might be a time when you think like giving up or have thought of nothing is working out on your partner. it is an ok thing to have a thought like this but at such a time having patience is the only thing you have to do.
recovering from severe trauma is a difficult and time-consuming process nobody knows which things might work out and which didn’t. considering the pain of your partner and the efforts they might be putting in to come out from their suffering can be huge.
understanding all these things and having some patience and putting a trust can play a significant role in the recovery of your partner.
5. Avoid any triggering situations and respect their boundaries.
Many of the things like a negative comment, making fun of your partner, forcing them for something which they don’t like.
can be a triggering situation. Even though this thing is quite common in the relationship this can feel like threatening to them. observing the reaction that how they react after certain things and avoiding those things again if they do not like you can do.
with this method, you can build up trust in their heart and a better image of yourself compared to their previous partner.
6. Support your partner in practicing self-care and self-love.
Due to constant abuse and the pressure of proving themselves to their previous toxic partner, your partner may have lost self-esteem.
to get back that self-esteem motivate them to self-care like a simple morning walk, and encourage them to keep some hobbies like reading, and drawing, as they like. joining a class to gain some skillset to stand on their own feet by doing a job or small business not only will boost their confidence.
but also will help them to get back their self-esteem. spending some solo time without any pressure or restrictions your partner will feel beloved by themselves which gives them the feeling of worthiness and importance.
7. Establish open and honest communication.
Communication is the key to any relationship this is the entry gate to the person’s mind. without proper communication, It may lead to lots of misunderstanding. When dealing with a partner who got abused by a narcissistic person open communication with them can be beneficial.
sharing their feelings and their suffering with you they will feel relief. it will also give you the idea of abnormal and negative thought patterns which might they have learned in their previous relationship which will help you to figure out what’s going on in their head. and the better picture of what to do next.
8. Help your partner set healthy boundaries.
With constant controlling and instruction of what to do and what not your partner may have forgotten the freedom. they might ask you permission for silly things like hanging out with their friends which they used to do in a previous relationship setting up healthy boundaries that what is ok and what is not an honest talk with them will get the job done.
I have seen people sharing their social media passwords and granting permission from their partner to even step out the foot outside the door which is not normal. trust and privacy play a vital role in a healthy relationship.
giving them an understanding of this can lead to significant changes in them which give them an idea of a normal healthy relationship that is not suffocating
9. Avoid trying to “fix” them; support their personal growth instead.
Comparing your partner with the others and figuring out problems in them can make the situation worse. instead of these supporting them in their personal growth such as in their hobbies in their work can be more beneficial.
Remember nobody is perfect everyone has some issues including you as well. giving your partner a healthy environment and privacy to take a deep breath will be more than enough for the recovery from the trauma of PTSD.
10. Finally Take care of yourself :
All this stuff can be very much exhausting and energy-draining. sometimes you will feel tired and frustrated. feelings, like you are losing yourself in the name of a relationship, are common.
At such time the thing which you have to is taking care of yourself. a healthy diet spending some time with your good friends and family exercise, and being in touch with the therapist of your partner to track down the progress.
with all these things you can surely have a healthy relationship one day with your partner.
Conclusion:
1. In conclusion, dating someone who is a narcissistic person abused requires patience, understanding, and support.
2. It’s crucial to educate yourself about narcissistic abuse and its effects.
3. Encourage your partner to seek professional help and create a safe space for open communication.
4. Respect their boundaries and practice self-care.
5. Remember, healing takes time, and together, you can navigate the challenges and build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
If you like this article please check out our article on
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FAQ
Que1: How do you love someone who has been abused by a narcissist?
If someone is abused by a narcissist at such a time loving them and having a relationship with them is quite different but easily manageable with some strategies like building a safe environment around them, supporting them in their recovery journey, avoiding the trigger factors, and motivating them to seek professional therapy.
Que2: Do people heal from narcissistic abuse?
Well, it depends on the severity of the abuse but with the proper treatment from the professional counselor and the psychologist yes people can heal from the narcissistic abuse.